#AtoZChallenge — The Host

Posted on April 11, 2023 by renbog

The Host is a novel by Stephenie Meyer. Don’t stop reading. I know, you’re probably thinking that you’re not the least bit interested in reading a book written by the sparkly vampire author. But hear me out: The Host is nothing at all like any of the Twilight books. It’s a little bit romance, a little bit science fiction, a little bit fantasy, a little bit dystopia. The main storyline focuses on a love quadrangle unlike anything you’ve ever read before. It’s not overly science fiction-y, either. So to me, this novel could be considered appropriate for men, women, and teens. There’s noting too graphic in terms of violence or sex. It’s not too focused on romance, and it’s not too focused on the science fiction, either. Personally, I love impossible romances, and that was what initially appealed to me about this novel. I was so unsure how the book would end satisfactorily, so if you enjoy stories that will lead you down a path of curiosity, this would also be a good book for you! It’s also not an overly heavy read, so it makes a terrific summer novel! Happy reading!

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#AtoZChallenge — Genesis

Posted on April 9, 2023 by renbog

One of my favorite bands is Genesis. I have loved them since I was in 8th grade. My boyfriend back then was a bog Genesis fan, so of course, I decided to be as well, and as it turns out, I legit liked the band! Here are links to some of my favorite Genesis songs (in no particular order)if you want to take a listen:

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#AtoZChallenge — Fears

Posted on April 8, 2023 by renbog

Deep down, I am a big, ol’ fraidy cat. I am afraid of a lot of things. Here are some of my fears.

Spiders. Well, let me clarify. I really am afraid of anything with more than 4 legs, but spiders are the most terrifying. It doesn’t matter how big or small, I’m terrified of them all.

Tornadoes. I think this fear stems from my childhood in Nebraska. I had never heard of a tornado before I lived there, and the first house we lived in when I lived in Nebraska did not have a basement, so if we had to take shelter, we had to go to our neighbor’s house. May 6, 1975, there was a terrible tornado in Omaha, and I remember being outside going to the neighbor’s house and seeing the funnel cloud above us. What prompted my mom to hustle us over to the neighbor’s house was seeing the trees in the front of the house blowing in the opposite direction of the trees in the back of the house. I have never forgotten how scared I was outside, and to this day, almost 50 years later, I am still petrified of tornadoes. I start to get uneasy during any storm. I will do anything to avoid being home alone during a thunderstorm.

The supernatural, especially demonic possession. I don’t even like to think about anything supernatural or talk about it. When I was a teen, I watched the edited version of The Exorcist on television, and it scared the living hell out of me. And then I read the novel. I don’t know why I did that because all that did was solidify my absolute terror. If I wake up in the middle of the night and for whatever reason start thinking about this movie or book, I immediately start to pray the Our Father in hopes it will keep me safe.

Prison. I have no idea why I am so frightened by the thought of going to prison, but it scares me to my core. I will make sure I am extra careful about things like driving in the neighborhood because I don’t want to be speeding and hit a kid or a person and kill them and then end up going to prison for it.

Death. Maybe when I am older, I won’t be afraid of death. But right now, I am scared of dying. I have too much in my life to live for and so many people I love, I just can’t stand the thought of not being here with them, and honestly, it break my heart to think of any of them possibly hurting because I am gone. So I will do everything I can to make sure I stay alive for a good, long time!

Maybe my fears are irrational, but they’re fears I have. Some, I have had to face and will likely still face (like spiders). Some, I hope I never have to face, like tornadoes, the supernatural, or prison. Death, I know I will have to face one day. All I can do is hope I’m ready when it happens.

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#AtoZChallenge — Education

Posted on April 8, 2023 by renbog

Let me share a few thoughts I have on education. As someone who has worked in the field for over 30 years and still has a little over a year to go, I feel I’ve earned the ability to speak knowledgeably. I think education is in a bit of trouble right now, and it is going to get worse if something doesn’t change. The problems are multifaceted, but the end result is the same: if things don’t change, there simply will not be enough teachers to educate our children well or properly. Teachers need politicians to stop the fear-mongering. There is no indoctrination happening in classrooms. Teachers also need politicians to do something about school violence, specifically school shootings. The thoughts and prayers just aren’t working. Teachers need parents to realize we are partners with them in their child’s education, not adversaries. Teachers need parents to help their kids appreciate and value education. Teachers need admins to work really hard to remember what it was like to be a classroom teacher and have some empathy for the challenges teachers face every day. Everyone needs to treat teachers like the licensed professionals they are. If changes such as these are not made soon, teachers will continue to leave the profession in droves. Fewer and fewer people will decide to pursue careers in education. And the education system will collapse. Contrary to popular belief, teaching is not easy. Just because everyone has been to school does not mean everyone can teach. Think about what education is going to look like if classrooms have 40 or 50 kids in them. Or think about what education is going to look like when kids have to receive all instruction at home either from online instructors or from parents. Think American students can’t compete on a global stage now? Just wait until there aren’t any more teachers. If you’ve read this and think I am full of it, you’re entitled to your opinion. But I would challenge you to become part of the solution — if you think teachers are getting it all wrong, then I would like to invite you to become a teacher yourself.

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#AtoZChallenge — Discrimination

Posted on April 7, 2023 by renbog

I am a day behind on my posts, but I will get caught up this weekend!

I decided to pick a bit of a serious topic for my letter D post. Discrimination, especially in the form of prejudice and racism and sexism and all the other isms, is something that is prevalent today, whether it is actual discrimination or “perceived” discrimination as some “news” outlets report (saying it doesn’t exist). Honestly, when I was much younger, like in my 20’s, I never thought much at all about discrimination. I was young and white, so it didn’t seem to be something that impacted my life. Ah, to be young, naive, and ignorant again…. But as I have gotten older and accumulated more life experience and increased my own learning and world view, I have come to realize that discrimination is indeed something that exists and it’s something I need to be aware of and do something about, to the best of my ability. What was really a wake up call for me was being able to personalize discrimination. I have friends and family who are black, Hispanic, Muslim, Jewish, Asian, gay, transgender, non-binary, and other commonly discriminated against groups, and when I hear people, either personally or via media, saying things that are untrue, disparaging, hurtful, and offensive, I see discrimination being alive and well, and it’s disturbing because when those rotten things are said, they’re being said about my friends and family, not nameless, faceless, fictional people. It’s sad that I had to make it “about me” to make it understandable, but I am focusing on the fact that at least I came to an awareness. Please don’t think that just because things may seem better now than they used to be socially that prejudice, hate, bigotry, and discrimination don’t exist. They do. And each of us needs to decide on what we are comfortable doing to help raise awareness and combat it.

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#AtoZChallenge — Credit Cards

Posted on April 5, 2023 by renbog

I live in credit card hell. It’s not the kind of hell where I am in deep credit card debt (although I’ve been there, done that). Instead, my credit card hell is having so many credit cards and having to switch off when I use which one where. My husband, a few years ago, learned a lot about how to use credit card points for travel (friends of ours have taken trips to Hawaii, Europe, and Australia — all using credit card points, costing them little or nothing at all). Since then, he has been a credit card point earning freak — he watches for offers, then tells me which card to use so we can maximize the points earned. Sometimes I have one card to use at the grocery store, a different one for gas, a different one for restaurants, and a different one for when we need to book travel. Because see, we have racked up a lot of points but have used almost none of them. The plan is to earn a lot of points and then, when I retire, we can use those points to take an extravagant trip. I suppose when I finally take that trip, I will be happy, but for now, my head spins whenever I have to change up the card or cards I am using. BTW, completely unsolicited plug here for The Points Guy — that is my husband’s go-to source for all things credit card points if you think you want to get in on this for yourself!

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#AtoZChallenge — Blanca

Posted on April 3, 2023 by renbog

A little over a year ago, my dog Blanca crossed the Rainbow Bridge. I had Blanca for 14 years, and I loved that little dog more than I thought was possible for a human to love a dog.

She was a little white chihuahua, and everyone who saw her always wanted to pet her. She was mostly fine with it, though she was iffy with kids. Blanca was a true chihuahua in that she had one true love in her life (me) and everyone else could go away, as far as she was concerned!

Blanca loved to eat and she loved to sleep! She did not love grass, cold, rain, or snow. She was a princess through and through! She did enjoy going on walks, though, and she loved to leave her mark! She would dribble her way through the neighborhood, and loved stopping for a nice poop along the way, too! She also loved riding in the car.

She always slept right next to me in bed. Sometimes she would curl up next to my belly under the covers. Sometimes she would stretch out behind me with her belly to my back (yes, she would try to be the big spoon!), but sometimes she slept in between Jim and me with her head on my pillow and her body under the covers.

I miss that li’l dog every day.

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#AtoZChallenge — ACE

Posted on April 1, 2023 by renbog

I have started my journey to become an ACE certified personal trainer! I had this brainstorm recently that I would like to pursue being a personal trainer but really focus my attention on a group of people who likely don’t get thought off too often, and that’s people who are pre- and post-bariatric surgery. When I decided to pursue my own weight loss surgery journey, I was required to do some activity to help with weight loss before the surgery, and then I was expected to develop an exercise routine after surgery. Honestly, I feel like I had an advantage over some people because I was active prior to surgery, and all I wanted afterward was clearance to get back to my exercise routine! But how many people who decide to pursue weight loss surgery are like that? I’m guessing not many. So when they are faced with having to start working out, it can be daunting, especially if they have never liked exercising, or if they have never exercised, or if they’re feeling intimidated by going to a gym. A someone who used to be sedentary, and as someone who used to hate exercise, and as someone who has been through bariatric surgery, I feel like I have a unique perspective that will allow me to be a useful and empathetic personal trainer for this particular group of people! I consider myself to be a relatively intelligent person as well, but I gotta say, this ACE textbook is daunting! But I love a good challenge, and I love learning, so I am hopeful that I will be successful at achieving this certification! Anyone who has ACE certification, I would love any pointers, tips, or advice you have!

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Starting the Year in Onederland!

Posted on January 4, 2023 by renbog

It’s a new year, and it’s off to a great start! I am progressing really well in my weight loss. I hope you enjoy this update!

I saw my surgeon in the beginning of December for my 3 month post op checkup, and he was happy with my progress so far! He set my goal weight at 178. Not sure how that weight gets chosen — the nurse said it’s computer generated. I assume it must use some algorithm that takes into consideration things like age, gender, and what’s considered a healthy BMI (and yes, I know all sorts of issues with BMI — I don’t particularly care for BMI, but it’s what is used, so I’m stuck with it). I’m pleased with this choice of goal weight. Many moons ago when I was able to lose a lot of weight following Weight Watchers, I kind of got stuck in the 175 range and couldn’t seem to budge from that, so I am hopeful that I can get to that weight again and maintain it.

I am well on the way, as I have recently entered onederland! If you’re not familiar with that term, it’s used by people who have been on a weight loss journey when they finally have their weight start with a 1. I’ve never really been hung up on sharing/not sharing my weight, as it’s just a number, not anything that is indicative of my personal value or worth. When I saw my surgeon for the first time in July 2022, I weighed 265. The morning of my surgery in September 2022, I weighed 240.2. This morning, I weighed 197.

My clothes are definitely an issue. Before surgery, I was wearing size 22. I didn’t have much in that size; I was still trying to squeeze myself into size 20. Now I am finding that my size 18 clothes are starting to get big on me. I have been able to shop in the regular sized section of stores — I don’t have to go to the plus sized section. I can fit into size XL. I even was able to go into some cute little local boutiques and find clothes for myself. It has been fun, but I’ll be honest, I suffer from a bit of body dysmorphia. I know I am losing weight, but I have a hard time seeing it or feeling it. I still feel like the 265 pound woman I was months ago, and I often look at clothes before I buy them and think, “No way I can ever wear that — it is too small.” But when I try it on, it fits! It’s like my brain doesn’t believe what it sees in the mirror. That being said, I always have a bit of an issue with fit for bottoms because I’ve got this belly. Yeah, there’s still some fat there, but a lot of it is now loose skin. I also am seeing loose skin on my arms and legs. My boobs have gotten smaller, too, but they’re also now a bit saggier as well. I did not start this weight loss journey to look good — it is seriously all about being healthy. But sometimes, the loose skin bothers me. And I still have close to another 25 pounds to go.

Food is an enigma. I cannot eat a lot, that’s for sure! And when I do, I am really nauseous. But I am able to eat pretty much anything I want. Things like carbs (bread, potatoes) and sugar (yes, candy, cake, cookies) don’t seem to bother me at all. Honestly, I was kind of hoping they would because sugar is my bugaboo. I would LOVE a magic pill that makes me dislike sugary foods! So I have to be really careful because I can easily still scarf down sugary foods a little bit at a time and ruin all my hard work. I have had some alcohol as well — pretty much just wine, but not much. I usually sip one glass over a long time, like 2, 3, or 4 hours. I can also seem to tolerate carbonated drinks as well, but I have not really allowed myself to drink much of those. I may have one Diet Coke a week or every 10 days. I know soda isn’t good for me, so I try to avoid it and really just focus on water. I have some distorted thinking when it comes to food, too. For instance, at Christmas, as I was making my plate, I found myself thinking how I was depriving myself because I couldn’t eat as much of the food that I wanted. I have to talk to myself, reminding myself that I am NOT being deprived, that my body will only allow me to physically eat a certain amount, and that I will NOT feel deprived after I am done eating. It’s a mind game I have to play with myself at so many meals. I had become so used to overeating that my brain is still trying to learn what is normal to eat. And if I am being totally honest, food doesn’t bring me much joy anymore. I used to really enjoy going out to dinner and having an appetizer and an entree and a dessert and some wine or a martini. Now, I rarely have anything to drink, including water, with a meal, I may have one bite of an appetizer, I never finish an entree, and I either skip dessert or mooch a bite off someone else’s plate. It’s just not fun to eat anymore. It’s functional. Maybe that’s how it was always supposed to be.

Physically, I have noticed that moving around is easier. My balance has improved. It’s still not good because I still have the neuropathy in both feet. But I’m definitely stronger. I don’t tire out as easily from normal, everyday moving around. I don’t have to use my cane for going up and down the stairs. In fact, I did something recently I never thought I would be able to do — I was able to carry my grandson upstairs! I literally take it one step at a time, like a toddler, but I can do it! I don’t feel stable enough to carry him down the stairs yet, but that’s okay! I love feeling strong. I am actually starting to love and appreciate my body again. It has been a few years since I was able to do that. I am so glad because it is pretty miserable when you don’t love the body you have, when you feel trapped and limited by it, when you feel betrayed by it. It can lead you to some pretty dark places.

So while my journey is going well, I still have things to work on and growth to achieve. I still feel like this is the best decision I have ever made. I am happy with what I have done so far. I am grateful for the success I have had.

Onward!

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One Month Post Op and Feeling Fabulous!

Posted on October 6, 2022 by renbog

One month ago today, I had my gastric sleeve surgery, and I really feel like it is one of the best decisions I have ever made!

My first visit to the surgeon took place on July 6, 2022. I started doing some weight loss measures to prep for surgery starting after that visit. Since that initial visit, I have lost 41.5 pounds. Since my surgery a month ago, I have lost 16.7 pounds. But it’s not just my weight loss I am feeling good about; it’s more about how I am feeling. I have plenty of energy. I am not having really any issues with food causing me to feel sick. My biggest issue is related to bathroom stuff, but I won’t get into gory details! But even that issue is not super problematic.

I am now allowed to eat all proteins; I just need to be sure to cut them into small pieces and chew them really well. I’m also allowed 1/2 cup of non-starchy vegetables per day, or 1/2 cup of beans, legumes, or lentils per day. Related to that, I am allowed tomatoes or fresh tomato-based products, so I think I will try my hand at homemade tomato sauce. My exercise restrictions are gone, so I returned to boxing class yesterday, and it felt so great to be back! I am also going to try running again. I weigh less now than I did when I ran the marathon 5 years ago, so I am hoping with the weight loss and my TurboMed brace for my left foot, I can start that up again! I’m also allowed back on my bike, so I can get on my Peloton and do some rides as well as get on my Catrike outside when the weather permits. I can also have one cup of a caffeinated drink each day! How I have missed caffeine!

The one month mark is a big deal for me. I feel like I am getting many important parts of my life back. I’ve got some nice perks, too! I had to buy new jeans — I’m down 2 sizes. Rings are getting loose on my hands — I may need to get some sized as well as get some ring inserts. I have necklaces I couldn’t wear without chain extenders that I can now wear without the extender. My neuropathy is still there in both feet, but I feel like I am walking a lot better — less lurchy/limpy. I don’t ever really have any pain in my back or knees anymore.

Onward and upward!

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