#AtoZChallenge — Education

Posted on April 8, 2023 by renbog

Let me share a few thoughts I have on education. As someone who has worked in the field for over 30 years and still has a little over a year to go, I feel I’ve earned the ability to speak knowledgeably. I think education is in a bit of trouble right now, and it is going to get worse if something doesn’t change. The problems are multifaceted, but the end result is the same: if things don’t change, there simply will not be enough teachers to educate our children well or properly. Teachers need politicians to stop the fear-mongering. There is no indoctrination happening in classrooms. Teachers also need politicians to do something about school violence, specifically school shootings. The thoughts and prayers just aren’t working. Teachers need parents to realize we are partners with them in their child’s education, not adversaries. Teachers need parents to help their kids appreciate and value education. Teachers need admins to work really hard to remember what it was like to be a classroom teacher and have some empathy for the challenges teachers face every day. Everyone needs to treat teachers like the licensed professionals they are. If changes such as these are not made soon, teachers will continue to leave the profession in droves. Fewer and fewer people will decide to pursue careers in education. And the education system will collapse. Contrary to popular belief, teaching is not easy. Just because everyone has been to school does not mean everyone can teach. Think about what education is going to look like if classrooms have 40 or 50 kids in them. Or think about what education is going to look like when kids have to receive all instruction at home either from online instructors or from parents. Think American students can’t compete on a global stage now? Just wait until there aren’t any more teachers. If you’ve read this and think I am full of it, you’re entitled to your opinion. But I would challenge you to become part of the solution — if you think teachers are getting it all wrong, then I would like to invite you to become a teacher yourself.

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#AtoZChallenge — Discrimination

Posted on April 7, 2023 by renbog

I am a day behind on my posts, but I will get caught up this weekend!

I decided to pick a bit of a serious topic for my letter D post. Discrimination, especially in the form of prejudice and racism and sexism and all the other isms, is something that is prevalent today, whether it is actual discrimination or “perceived” discrimination as some “news” outlets report (saying it doesn’t exist). Honestly, when I was much younger, like in my 20’s, I never thought much at all about discrimination. I was young and white, so it didn’t seem to be something that impacted my life. Ah, to be young, naive, and ignorant again…. But as I have gotten older and accumulated more life experience and increased my own learning and world view, I have come to realize that discrimination is indeed something that exists and it’s something I need to be aware of and do something about, to the best of my ability. What was really a wake up call for me was being able to personalize discrimination. I have friends and family who are black, Hispanic, Muslim, Jewish, Asian, gay, transgender, non-binary, and other commonly discriminated against groups, and when I hear people, either personally or via media, saying things that are untrue, disparaging, hurtful, and offensive, I see discrimination being alive and well, and it’s disturbing because when those rotten things are said, they’re being said about my friends and family, not nameless, faceless, fictional people. It’s sad that I had to make it “about me” to make it understandable, but I am focusing on the fact that at least I came to an awareness. Please don’t think that just because things may seem better now than they used to be socially that prejudice, hate, bigotry, and discrimination don’t exist. They do. And each of us needs to decide on what we are comfortable doing to help raise awareness and combat it.

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#AtoZChallenge — Credit Cards

Posted on April 5, 2023 by renbog

I live in credit card hell. It’s not the kind of hell where I am in deep credit card debt (although I’ve been there, done that). Instead, my credit card hell is having so many credit cards and having to switch off when I use which one where. My husband, a few years ago, learned a lot about how to use credit card points for travel (friends of ours have taken trips to Hawaii, Europe, and Australia — all using credit card points, costing them little or nothing at all). Since then, he has been a credit card point earning freak — he watches for offers, then tells me which card to use so we can maximize the points earned. Sometimes I have one card to use at the grocery store, a different one for gas, a different one for restaurants, and a different one for when we need to book travel. Because see, we have racked up a lot of points but have used almost none of them. The plan is to earn a lot of points and then, when I retire, we can use those points to take an extravagant trip. I suppose when I finally take that trip, I will be happy, but for now, my head spins whenever I have to change up the card or cards I am using. BTW, completely unsolicited plug here for The Points Guy — that is my husband’s go-to source for all things credit card points if you think you want to get in on this for yourself!

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#AtoZChallenge — Blanca

Posted on April 3, 2023 by renbog

A little over a year ago, my dog Blanca crossed the Rainbow Bridge. I had Blanca for 14 years, and I loved that little dog more than I thought was possible for a human to love a dog.

She was a little white chihuahua, and everyone who saw her always wanted to pet her. She was mostly fine with it, though she was iffy with kids. Blanca was a true chihuahua in that she had one true love in her life (me) and everyone else could go away, as far as she was concerned!

Blanca loved to eat and she loved to sleep! She did not love grass, cold, rain, or snow. She was a princess through and through! She did enjoy going on walks, though, and she loved to leave her mark! She would dribble her way through the neighborhood, and loved stopping for a nice poop along the way, too! She also loved riding in the car.

She always slept right next to me in bed. Sometimes she would curl up next to my belly under the covers. Sometimes she would stretch out behind me with her belly to my back (yes, she would try to be the big spoon!), but sometimes she slept in between Jim and me with her head on my pillow and her body under the covers.

I miss that li’l dog every day.

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#AtoZChallenge — ACE

Posted on April 1, 2023 by renbog

I have started my journey to become an ACE certified personal trainer! I had this brainstorm recently that I would like to pursue being a personal trainer but really focus my attention on a group of people who likely don’t get thought off too often, and that’s people who are pre- and post-bariatric surgery. When I decided to pursue my own weight loss surgery journey, I was required to do some activity to help with weight loss before the surgery, and then I was expected to develop an exercise routine after surgery. Honestly, I feel like I had an advantage over some people because I was active prior to surgery, and all I wanted afterward was clearance to get back to my exercise routine! But how many people who decide to pursue weight loss surgery are like that? I’m guessing not many. So when they are faced with having to start working out, it can be daunting, especially if they have never liked exercising, or if they have never exercised, or if they’re feeling intimidated by going to a gym. A someone who used to be sedentary, and as someone who used to hate exercise, and as someone who has been through bariatric surgery, I feel like I have a unique perspective that will allow me to be a useful and empathetic personal trainer for this particular group of people! I consider myself to be a relatively intelligent person as well, but I gotta say, this ACE textbook is daunting! But I love a good challenge, and I love learning, so I am hopeful that I will be successful at achieving this certification! Anyone who has ACE certification, I would love any pointers, tips, or advice you have!

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Starting the Year in Onederland!

Posted on January 4, 2023 by renbog

It’s a new year, and it’s off to a great start! I am progressing really well in my weight loss. I hope you enjoy this update!

I saw my surgeon in the beginning of December for my 3 month post op checkup, and he was happy with my progress so far! He set my goal weight at 178. Not sure how that weight gets chosen — the nurse said it’s computer generated. I assume it must use some algorithm that takes into consideration things like age, gender, and what’s considered a healthy BMI (and yes, I know all sorts of issues with BMI — I don’t particularly care for BMI, but it’s what is used, so I’m stuck with it). I’m pleased with this choice of goal weight. Many moons ago when I was able to lose a lot of weight following Weight Watchers, I kind of got stuck in the 175 range and couldn’t seem to budge from that, so I am hopeful that I can get to that weight again and maintain it.

I am well on the way, as I have recently entered onederland! If you’re not familiar with that term, it’s used by people who have been on a weight loss journey when they finally have their weight start with a 1. I’ve never really been hung up on sharing/not sharing my weight, as it’s just a number, not anything that is indicative of my personal value or worth. When I saw my surgeon for the first time in July 2022, I weighed 265. The morning of my surgery in September 2022, I weighed 240.2. This morning, I weighed 197.

My clothes are definitely an issue. Before surgery, I was wearing size 22. I didn’t have much in that size; I was still trying to squeeze myself into size 20. Now I am finding that my size 18 clothes are starting to get big on me. I have been able to shop in the regular sized section of stores — I don’t have to go to the plus sized section. I can fit into size XL. I even was able to go into some cute little local boutiques and find clothes for myself. It has been fun, but I’ll be honest, I suffer from a bit of body dysmorphia. I know I am losing weight, but I have a hard time seeing it or feeling it. I still feel like the 265 pound woman I was months ago, and I often look at clothes before I buy them and think, “No way I can ever wear that — it is too small.” But when I try it on, it fits! It’s like my brain doesn’t believe what it sees in the mirror. That being said, I always have a bit of an issue with fit for bottoms because I’ve got this belly. Yeah, there’s still some fat there, but a lot of it is now loose skin. I also am seeing loose skin on my arms and legs. My boobs have gotten smaller, too, but they’re also now a bit saggier as well. I did not start this weight loss journey to look good — it is seriously all about being healthy. But sometimes, the loose skin bothers me. And I still have close to another 25 pounds to go.

Food is an enigma. I cannot eat a lot, that’s for sure! And when I do, I am really nauseous. But I am able to eat pretty much anything I want. Things like carbs (bread, potatoes) and sugar (yes, candy, cake, cookies) don’t seem to bother me at all. Honestly, I was kind of hoping they would because sugar is my bugaboo. I would LOVE a magic pill that makes me dislike sugary foods! So I have to be really careful because I can easily still scarf down sugary foods a little bit at a time and ruin all my hard work. I have had some alcohol as well — pretty much just wine, but not much. I usually sip one glass over a long time, like 2, 3, or 4 hours. I can also seem to tolerate carbonated drinks as well, but I have not really allowed myself to drink much of those. I may have one Diet Coke a week or every 10 days. I know soda isn’t good for me, so I try to avoid it and really just focus on water. I have some distorted thinking when it comes to food, too. For instance, at Christmas, as I was making my plate, I found myself thinking how I was depriving myself because I couldn’t eat as much of the food that I wanted. I have to talk to myself, reminding myself that I am NOT being deprived, that my body will only allow me to physically eat a certain amount, and that I will NOT feel deprived after I am done eating. It’s a mind game I have to play with myself at so many meals. I had become so used to overeating that my brain is still trying to learn what is normal to eat. And if I am being totally honest, food doesn’t bring me much joy anymore. I used to really enjoy going out to dinner and having an appetizer and an entree and a dessert and some wine or a martini. Now, I rarely have anything to drink, including water, with a meal, I may have one bite of an appetizer, I never finish an entree, and I either skip dessert or mooch a bite off someone else’s plate. It’s just not fun to eat anymore. It’s functional. Maybe that’s how it was always supposed to be.

Physically, I have noticed that moving around is easier. My balance has improved. It’s still not good because I still have the neuropathy in both feet. But I’m definitely stronger. I don’t tire out as easily from normal, everyday moving around. I don’t have to use my cane for going up and down the stairs. In fact, I did something recently I never thought I would be able to do — I was able to carry my grandson upstairs! I literally take it one step at a time, like a toddler, but I can do it! I don’t feel stable enough to carry him down the stairs yet, but that’s okay! I love feeling strong. I am actually starting to love and appreciate my body again. It has been a few years since I was able to do that. I am so glad because it is pretty miserable when you don’t love the body you have, when you feel trapped and limited by it, when you feel betrayed by it. It can lead you to some pretty dark places.

So while my journey is going well, I still have things to work on and growth to achieve. I still feel like this is the best decision I have ever made. I am happy with what I have done so far. I am grateful for the success I have had.

Onward!

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One Month Post Op and Feeling Fabulous!

Posted on October 6, 2022 by renbog

One month ago today, I had my gastric sleeve surgery, and I really feel like it is one of the best decisions I have ever made!

My first visit to the surgeon took place on July 6, 2022. I started doing some weight loss measures to prep for surgery starting after that visit. Since that initial visit, I have lost 41.5 pounds. Since my surgery a month ago, I have lost 16.7 pounds. But it’s not just my weight loss I am feeling good about; it’s more about how I am feeling. I have plenty of energy. I am not having really any issues with food causing me to feel sick. My biggest issue is related to bathroom stuff, but I won’t get into gory details! But even that issue is not super problematic.

I am now allowed to eat all proteins; I just need to be sure to cut them into small pieces and chew them really well. I’m also allowed 1/2 cup of non-starchy vegetables per day, or 1/2 cup of beans, legumes, or lentils per day. Related to that, I am allowed tomatoes or fresh tomato-based products, so I think I will try my hand at homemade tomato sauce. My exercise restrictions are gone, so I returned to boxing class yesterday, and it felt so great to be back! I am also going to try running again. I weigh less now than I did when I ran the marathon 5 years ago, so I am hoping with the weight loss and my TurboMed brace for my left foot, I can start that up again! I’m also allowed back on my bike, so I can get on my Peloton and do some rides as well as get on my Catrike outside when the weather permits. I can also have one cup of a caffeinated drink each day! How I have missed caffeine!

The one month mark is a big deal for me. I feel like I am getting many important parts of my life back. I’ve got some nice perks, too! I had to buy new jeans — I’m down 2 sizes. Rings are getting loose on my hands — I may need to get some sized as well as get some ring inserts. I have necklaces I couldn’t wear without chain extenders that I can now wear without the extender. My neuropathy is still there in both feet, but I feel like I am walking a lot better — less lurchy/limpy. I don’t ever really have any pain in my back or knees anymore.

Onward and upward!

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Two Weeks Post-Op and Happier Than Ever!

Posted on September 19, 2022 by renbog

I am essentially 2 weeks post weight loss surgery, and and I am thrilled to report that I am feeling great! I am incredibly happy with my decision to do this! My husband said he expected me to somehow be “different”, and actually, I think maybe I expected to be “different”, too, but honestly, I just feel like myself, only freer!

You might be thinking, “How could she possible feel freer? There are so many changes and restrictions that come with weight loss surgery.” And that’s correct, but I don’t really think of them as limitations. Instead, they’re all just tools for me to use. I am not feeling deprived of food. I am not feeling “left out”. In fact, I don’t even really feel hunger. I am sure that will change with time, but so far, I have not really felt hungry at all. I eat my 3 meals a day 5 hours apart because I know I need to, but so far, I have not eaten because I feel hungry. I am fortunate that I don’t really have any issues with food aversion, so it’s not like I am forcing food into myself. I am still eating soft foods, and not much at that! A typical day for me right now looks like 1/2 cup of cottage cheese for breakfast, two eggs made into egg salad or deviled eggs or scrambled with a little cheese for lunch, and 2-3 oz. of finely shredded chicken with some ranch dressing and hot sauce for dinner. I supplement with Gatorade Zero protein during the day to help reach my protein goal of 60 g per day, and as much water as I can to reach my 64 oz of fluid per day (still struggling to meet that goal.). While I may nor be feeling hunger, I can tell when I am full. It’s kind of like a pressure in my chest; it’s not the traditional feeling of fullness I’ve experienced in the past.

I did experience what happens if I eat too fast or eat too much, though, and it’s not pleasant! When I ate too fast, I was playing on my phone while eating, so I wasn’t paying attention to my eating like I should. When I ate too much, I was socializing and not paying attention to my eating like I should. Common thread: not focusing on my eating! It’s very important for me to be conscious of my eating while I am doing it. Otherwise, I get hit with some pretty strong nausea. I’m glad I didn’t actually get sick — but the nausea was enough to send me to lie as still as possible in bed until it passed.

So why do I feel free? Because I don’t feel like I am a servant to food anymore. Instead, food serves ME. Food is fuel for my body, not love or comfort or entertainment. I have a check valve in place that will prevent me from scarfing down copious amounts of food that aren’t good for me — no more eating half a pizza or 3 cupcakes or a dozen buffalo wings or a large order of fries or drinking an entire large chocolate shake. I would be sick, and now that I have had the chance to feel that nausea, I know I DON’T want that! It’s freeing to know that I have a tool in place that will help keep those unhealthy foods and habits in check. Since this surgery, I have been around people eating pizza and McDonald’s, and I was fine. Did the food smell good to me? Sure did. But right now, since my stomach is still healing, I KNEW I absolutely could not have any of it at all, and I found that liberating! Once I am back to “normal”, I could eat it, but only a small amount, and I find that liberating, too!

Two weeks down, a lifetime to go!

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About to Become a Better Version of Myself

Posted on September 6, 2022 by renbog

Tomorrow, September 6th, is the big day. I am scheduled for my surgery in the morning. I have spent the past 2 weeks following a pre-op diet that has been challenging, to say the least. I figure I have been eating 500 to 600 calories a day. I’ve been allowed two protein shakes a day, 4 oz of solid protein, 1/2 cup of non-starchy vegetables, and then I could supplement that with up to two cups of broth and as many sugar-free popsicles and as much sugar-free Jell-O as I want. It hasn’t been easy, but I have managed it quite well. In fact, I have even found ways to go out to eat.

In those past 2 weeks, I’ve lost about 15 pounds. So I’ve got a good jump start on my weight loss journey.

I’m eager to have a good tool in my toolkit that will enable me to really take control of my own health by giving me control over what kinds of food I can eat and how much. I’m not scared. I’m feeling positive, like I’m about to do something truly for me, to show my body the love it deserves. This body has given me so much: I carried and birthed a child; I’ve run 5Ks, a half marathon, and a marathon; I’ve hiked in the Grand Canyon; I box and do all sorts of other exercises; I came back to somewhat normal after serious complications from back surgery. At any of those times, my body could have just given up. But it didn’t. I owe it to my body to treat it with love and kindness. No more abusing my body with food.

I’m in control now.

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Big Change before the Big Change

Posted on August 20, 2022 by renbog

I got approval from my insurance company for my surgery, and I have a date: September 6. So I am just a smidge over two weeks away from the biggest change I’ve ever chosen for myself. But before that big change, I’ve got a different big change to make.

Tuesday, I start a two week pre-op diet. Apparently, the liver is right next to the stomach, and in people who are overweight, the liver can be a bit large. So the pre-op diet is going to help shrink the liver down so it is easier for the doctor to do the surgery. But the pre-op diet ain’t no walk in the park.

First, I start taking my vitamins every day Tuesday and for the rest of my life. There are 3 capsules I have to take each day. In addition, I have to take 200 mg of Co Q10 every day. I guess this helps with healing. I am also taking 12-15 mg of Benefiber a day, and if needed, I can also use a stool softener. I am required to get in 64 oz. of fluid a day. As for food, I have to have 2 protein shakes each day as well as 4 oz. of solid protein and 1/2 cup of non-starchy vegetables. If I am hungry between meals, I am allowed to have up to 2 cups of beef, chicken, or vegetable broth as well as sugar-free Jello and sugar-free popsicles. The broth, jello, and popsicles can count toward my 64 oz. of fluid each day. I am allowed 1 8 oz. cup of caffeinated coffee or tea each day, and I can use artificial sweetener and dairy-free creamer in it. All other foods and liquids need to be dairy, sugar, caffeine, and carbonation -free.

That’s it right there for the next 2 weeks. I am nervous about this for a couple of reasons. First, am I going to be hungry? Probably. Part of the reason I got this way is because I eat too much. Am I going to be able to resist temptation? Part of the reason I got this way is because I eat like crap and eat too many fattening foods. I am going to have to keep telling myself that I can’t cheat — if I cheat, I may not be able to have the surgery. I’m also worried about energy. I still have a couple boxing classes to do before the surgery. Plus I am doing Bike the Drive on the Sunday of Labor Day weekend. I need to be sure I have the fuel to stay active. Finally, I have some things happening over the next 2 weeks that present eating challenges. For instance, I have a bridal shower to go to. I am already planning on making sure I have a tasty drink with me that I can sip on while others eat. I don’t want to appear rude if I don’t eat at the shower, and I absolutely do not want anyone to alter their behaviors around me because I am doing this pre-op diet (or because of how my eating habits will change after surgery). I do not expect the world to adapt to me — I need to learn how to adapt to the world around me.

So, starting Tuesday, if you see me, feel free to give me an, “Atta girl,” if you’re so inclined. I am so fortunate that I have had so many wonderful cheerleaders in my life; I’m gonna need you all again! I’m ready for the next step!

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