The View from the Cheap Seats

Janine is probably the best friend I’ve ever had. I’ve worked with Janine for close to 20 years, and we are so similar in our teaching styles, we could practically be twins — but I readily admit she is so much better at what she does that I could ever be!

My two favorite things about Janine are her laugh and her honesty. Janine has the most infectious laugh. When she finds something really funny, she has this terrific, giggly laugh that makes you want to laugh right along with her.

Her honesty is what I appreciate the most about her. Some people don’t like people who are blunt and to the point. I’m not one of those people. I love it when people tell me exactly what they think because I never have to guess where they stand. Janine is like that. She is one person I never have and never will have to play games with — there is no drama with her. That’s refreshing in an age where ovaries equate drama.

I’ve had some great times with Janine. We have gone on vacation together….Well, it’s sort of like vacation. We’ve chaperoned 8th grade trips to Washington, D.C., together, so it’s a vacation with 60 14-year-olds! We attend each other’s parties for kids’ birthdays and milestones. Jim and I play cards with Janine and her husband John (which, by the way, we actually need to do soon because it’s been a long time!). She has listened to me and my crises, and I listen to her and her crises. I truly couldn’t ask for a better person to call a best friend.

On one of the numerous 8th grade trips to DC. Janine is in the red; the rest are my kick-ass colleagues!

It’s a cliché, I know. It gets said by so many people so many times. But that’s not going to stop me from saying it, too. Family is the most important thing in my life.

I learned very early on to appreciate family. There were always family birthday parties for me, my brother, and my cousins (and I had plenty of cousins — my mom is the oldest of 7 children; my dad is the oldest of 3). We always spent Christmas eve with my mom’s family and Christmas day with my dad’s family. We would visit my grandparents and my aunts and uncles regularly. And I loved every moment of it.

My husband comes from a large extended family as well, and he is pretty close to them, too, so marrying him was a good choice! And he is fairly close with his extended family as well.

My daughter has grown up being around her extended family, too. She has the same deep-rooted love of family that I do. She enjoys visiting all her extended family the same way I did as a kid and the way I still do.

I am probably loyal to a fault with my family. With only a very, very few exceptions, I love my extended family no matter what. Somehow I manage to overlook any of their faults, and I am fortunate that they seem to overlook mine, too. It doesn’t matter how old we are or how near or far we are, my family sticks together.

Last June, I went to India for two weeks to visit my father. He lives in Mumbai, but we traveled to Delhi for some sightseeing. While in Delhi, we stopped at an ATM so I could get some money. While I was walking to the ATM, I heard a strange ruckus in the trees. It was like no sound I had ever heard, so I paused and much to my astonishment, a couple of monkeys fell out of the tree! Well, this was about the coolest thing I had even seen! Monkeys — falling out of trees — in a big city — outside an ATM — right in front of me! So I grabbed my phone and started snapping some pictures. But the one biggest monkey must not have liked that, or he didn’t like me (maybe because I was looking at him — eye contact bad???) because he charged toward me. Well, that scared me stiff!  I couldn’t move! The he appeared to relax, so like a dummy, I started taking more pictures.  He charged at me again, a little more aggressively. Our tour guide was practically hiding behind a pole and he said to me, “Renée, you’d best come here.” I wasn’t sure how to do that. I was afraid to turn my back on the monkey, but I couldn’t stand there, rooted to the ground, staring at him. I backed up slowly and managed to stay safe. I was quite nervous walking back to the car after hitting up the ATM, though!

While traveling in the mountains near Lonavala later in my trip, we came across more monkeys sitting on a bridge. A man was selling bags of peanuts that we could feed to the monkeys. May dad’s driver, Ahmed, got out of the car and bought some peanuts to feed to the monkeys. He coaxed me out of the car to feed them, too, despite my recent encounter with an aggressive monkey. He told me, “Don’t be afraid. These are Mumbai monkeys. They are nice. They are not mean like Delhi monkeys.” Of course, I fell for that because I fed some peanuts to those monkeys, which was one of the best memories I have of that trip!

Now we have a standing joke in my family about “Delhi monkeys” and “Mumbai monkeys”. I’ll never live any of that down, and I love it!

Me feeding a friendly Mumbai monkey.

The mean Delhi monkey that charged me.

I am insanely jealous that my daughter is in college. I get so excited when she registers for classes. I love hearing the titles of the classes and getting the chance to look at the syllabi for her classes. I love seeing what her textbooks are. And it’s all because I love learning. When you hear educators talk about wanting their students to be “life-long learners”, well, the work on me was done a long time ago.

I have taken two grad classes so far this year. I try to take as many as I can. Because I love learning. I love getting the syllabus and the textbook. I love the homework — the reading, the researching, the writing. I love finishing a class and feeling like I learned something new. I have never taken a class where I didn’t learn something.

I have often said that if I win the lottery, I would quit my job and become a professional student. I’d get my doctorate. Then I’d take classes in every imaginable topic — business, economics, political science, history, philosophy, psychology, sociology, theology, medicine, law. I don’t care if it’s a class on a college campus or at an off-site location or online. I’d just learn and learn and learn.

I hope Becky enjoys her college experience, because I’m so jealous that she gets to learn so much!

Becky getting her books at the start of her freshman year.

My daughter’s name is Becky — well, Rebekah.  I insisted that she be called Rebekah when she was born.  I dodn’t want anyone to call her Becky or Becca.  You can see where that got me.  Even I call her Becky now.  But I was staunch on the Becca thing.  For some reason, I don’t like that nickname.  Maybe it’s because when I see it I always think of Chewbacca (Becca is too close to the “bacca” part of Chewbacca).

Sometimes I look at my daughter and I am totally amazed at what an awesome human being she is.  I don’t mean that in a critical way; I mean I can’t believe how a couple of dingbats like Jim and I managed to successfully parent a child!  She has just the right amount of humility and the right amount of self-confidence.  She got good grades all through elementary and high school, and now she’s getting good grades in college.  She’s involved with a great deal of philanthropy through her sorority, in which she has a leadership position.  She has a small group of trusted friends and a huge appreciation for family.  She’s also got a great deal of empathy, which is very difficult to teach; it really just needs to come from within.

I can’t wait to see what the future holds for my daughter.  I can’t wait to see the kind of adult she becomes.  I know she will be successful.  She’s never been the kind of person where everything comes easy to her; she’s always had to work to get good.  And she’s got a good work ethic and she’s pretty tenacious.  With those qualities, my Becky Boo is going to make me proud!

Becky Boo and me at the 65 Roses Gala this past weekend in St. Louis