#AtoZChallenge — Ozark

Posted on April 21, 2023 by renbog

Yes, I was one of those people, absolutely obsessed with Ozark! Truly one of Jason Bateman’s best performances — he did so well in his role of Marty Byrde that when I see him in anything else now, I always think it’s Marty Byrde, not Jason Bateman. Laura Linney did so well as Wendy Byrde, too! There were many, many times I said she was more dangerous than Marty! She was absolutely chilling at times in that role! I found myself cheering for Sofia Hublitz and Skylar Gaertner as Charlotte and Jonah Byrde, wanting them to come out of their whole experience unscathed. And I especially cheered for Jonah as he became his own scary kind of bad guy! That’s what makes this show so fun, being able to cheer for the bad guys! Lisa Emery was brilliant as Darlene Snell — talk about someone who is heartless and just plain terrifying! My heart absolutely broke for Carson Holmes, who played Three Langmore. He did not deserve the life he ends up with. All he ever did was love his family, and look where he ends up (trying not to give any spoilers for anyone who hasn’t watched but would like to). Felix Solis as Omar Navarro will stay with me — in fact, the other day, I was at my mom’s house and she had Rookie Feds on, and I heard his voice and immediately, my head snapped up to look at the screen. Honestly, I react the same way when I hear someone’s cell phone chirp like a cricket — I immediately start to look around for Marty! Tom Pelphrey’s performance as Ben Davis ripped my heart out. I can’t remember the last time my emotions were so impacted by a character. In fact, I can’t talk about him anymore, it just upsets me too much!!!!

But finally, I must speak about Ruth Langmore, played by the brilliant Julia Garner. Ruth is truly one of the most complex characters I’ve ever encountered. She is so incredibly human, it’s breathtaking. She’s impossible to love, impossible to hate, easy to love, and easy to hate. She’s such a good person, and she’s such a bad person. She’s actually the only character I wanted to emerge victorious and live happily ever after.

In tribute to Ruth, here is a video of The Best of Ruth Langmore! NSFW, do not watch with kids around, which you know if you’re a fan or Ruth or Ozark!

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#AtoZChallenge — Novel

Posted on April 18, 2023 by renbog

It has been a dream of mine for as long as I can remember to write a novel. I actually started one in April 2014, and have worked on it on and off since then, but the problem I have had with it is that I am not sure where to go with it. The idea kind of came to me ala Stephenie Meyer — I had a dream. When I woke up, I immediately started making some notes and trying to flesh out the story and the characters. The title came to me in my dream, Living Without Dying. I worked on it like gangbusters, and then came to a screeching halt. And now, it’s been so long, that I worry that one of the key elements in my story. virtual reality, may be out of date. I’ve got 117 pages completed, but I am still not sure how I want it to end, and without that, I don’t have a direction to go.

Here is a synopsis I wrote of the story: (genre: women’s fiction): Some people find comfort in the familiar, in routine. Not Lianne. Despite having a wonderful marriage to a devoted husband, a daughter with a promising life ahead of her once she graduates college, a steady job, and terrific friends, Lianne yearns for more. The comfort, the familiarity is suffocating her. As she looks for ways to shake up her life, she finds herself seeking out more and more extreme experiences. Her husband Mark tries to be supportive through it all, but Lianne’s dissatisfaction with the life they have is baffling to him and it becomes harder and harder to be the supportive husband. Mark and Lianne need to find their way back to each other, but it is possible that they will be lost forever if they can’t find some way to continue living life together instead of separately at the same time.

I am also willing to share the first 4 pages. In those pages, I am trying to establish the feelings and the voices of the main characters, Lianne and Mark. Initially, I had written everything from Lianne’s point of view, but I received some feedback that told me it felt incomplete, so I added Mark’s as well. I was also told that there wasn’t a lot of sympathy for Lianne from the person who read my initial draft, so as I have come back to work on this, I have tried to make Lianne relatable, and maybe sympathetic. I want women to read Lianne’s story and get her. They may not feel sympathy for her, but I want them to at least be able to say, “I know what she means. I know what she’s talking about. I’ve been through this, too.” And then have them measure their own decisions against Lianne’s. That’s why sympathy isn’t as important to me as understanding the character — in fact, I think Lianne’s decisions aren’t super responsible, and that’s okay because that’s what I was going for.

Anyway, I hope someday to find the time and patience with myself and my process to finish this novel. It may suck, but I don’t care. I almost always write for me as opposed to other people, so that is probably the wrong attitude to have if I want to be a novelist. But writing for me has always been my creative and emotional outlet, so I guess it’s more important to me to finish my novel for me than anyone else out there.

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#AtoZChallenge — Maggie May

Posted on April 18, 2023 by renbog

If I had to compile a list of my top 10 favorite songs, “Maggie May” by Rod Stewart would be on that list, probably in the top 5.

One of the things I love about this song is the mandolin. When I was a little girl, my dad used to play the mandolin and I always loved the way it sounded. That the mandolin is featured so prominently in “Maggie May” is part of what makes the song so appealing, in my opinion. It has a unique sound to it, and it adds more character to a song than an acoustic guitar does (but make no mistake, I love acoustic guitar as well).

I also really like the story it tells. I know that Rod Stewart has said it’s based on his own experience, but it tells a good story all on its own. I feel like we’re getting a glimpse into the mind of the narrator of the song, and we get to feel torn as well, not knowing what to do, not being able to tear himself away even though he knows he should.

I think part of what also makes the song and the story so appealing to me is I really like some of the imagery and the phraseology in the song. I really enjoy digging into song lyrics. One part of the lyrics I like is, “The mornin’ sun when it’s in your face really shows your age, but that don’t worry me none, in my eyes, you’re everything.” I remember thinking that Maggie May was probably mad at him for this back-handed compliment, but he’s a young guy, so maybe he didn’t realize how back-handed it was. This verse, “All I needed was a friend to lend a guiding hand, but you turned into a lover, and mother, what a lover, you wore me out! All you did was wreck my bed, and in the morning, kick me in the head.
Oh, Maggie, I couldn’t have tried any more,” also appeals to me because I like the way Rod Stewart sings it. He sounds playful and loving when he sings this verse. It always brings a smile to my face when I hear this part of the song! This verse as well also seems to tug at my heartstrings, too, because he sounds so lost: “I suppose I could collect my books and get on back to school, or steal my daddy’s cue and make a living out of playin’ pool, or find myself a rock and roll band that needs a helpin’ hand. Oh Maggie, I wish I’d never seen your face.” He sounds stuck in love, and he knows he should do something different, but he just can’t.

Maybe I am over-analyzing this song, but that’s okay! It’s one I can listen to anytime it comes on. I sing it at the top of my lungs, no matter how lousy my voice is! Take a listen for yourself, and maybe you’ll have a new appreciation for this song that so sweetly expresses how it feels to be in love with someone you know you shouldn’t but you can’t help it!

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#AtoZChallenge — Little Miss Magic

Posted on April 17, 2023 by renbog

When my daughter got married almost 2 years ago, I suggested to her and my husband that the daddy-daughter dance song for them should be “Little Miss Magic: by Jimmy Buffett. They both heartily agreed, and the night they danced to that song was the only time I cried at her wedding. Even though Jimmy Buffett wrote the song about his daughter Savannah’s childhood, growing up in St. Bart’s, he explains that he didn’t write it for himself, but instead, he wrote it for other people to connect with, and it sure did with my husband and daughter! So many of the lines in that song just sound like Jim and Becky!

“She loves to ride into town with the top down, feel that warm breeze on her gentle skin.” — Makes me think about how much Jim and Becky love riding in a convertible!

“I see a little more of me every day.” — Becky is so much like her dad, from his driving (aka road rage) to his sense of humor and quick wit. Plus she looks so much like him, with her big, soft brown eyes.

A picture the photographer captured of me watching Jim and Becky (blurry in the foreground).
Jim and Becky dancing to “Little Miss Magic.” If you thought they were having a nice time reminiscing while they were dancing, you would be wrong. According to Becky, they were, “…saying all sorts of dumb things and laughing about them.”

“Sometimes I catch her dreamin’ and wonder where that little mind meanders. Is she strollin’ along the shore or cruisin’ over the broad savannah? I know someday she’ll learn to make up her own rhymes. Someday she’s gonna learn how to fly. Oh, that I won’t deny.” — Jim was always such a big proponent of Becky growing up to be strong and independent even though he wanted to keep her as a little girl so he could protect her. And now that she’s grown, he is so proud of her. She learned how to fly, just like her daddy wanted her to, and it’s really wonderful seeing the relationship they have!

“I see those big brown eyes just start to lookin’ astray.” — How hard it was for Jim to see his baby girl start to be independent and maybe find a guy she wanted to spend more time with than her daddy, but he knew that’s how it’s supposed to be, so he let her grow up, and now she’s got a husband who is seriously one of the most wonderful people in the world, and he’s just like her dad — it makes Becky roll her eyes when Jim and Ben get going, but I know she loves them both so much!

This picture says it all — Jim’s face is a mixture of pride in his beautiful, grown up daughter and sadness that she’s not a little girl anymore.

Check out this song for a sweet song about dads and daughters.

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#AtoZChallenge — Kicking into High Gear

Posted on April 17, 2023 by renbog

I am wayyyyy behind on my blog posts for April, but I am bound and determined to do them all, even if they’re late, so I am KICKING IT INTO HIGH GEAR this week! In fact, I am kicking lots of things into high gear this week!

Writing: obviously, since I am behind, I am going to have to be doubling up on blog posts until I get myself caught up. I actually love to write, so I really just need to make it a priority in my life. I usually have time — the excuse of being too busy won’t work for me. I mean, I am busy, but I also have time to write when I’m watching TV or right before I go to bed.

Packing: I am in the process of moving out of my house and into my mom’s house, and since the closing on my house is next week, I have to finish packing anything that’s still at the house. There’s not much, the big stuff is done, but the big stuff never seems to be the problem. It’s all the little stuff that makes packing and moving a pain!

Cleaning: gotta get the house cleaned up once the packing is done, so that’s going to be happening very soon!

Reading: I need to get back to my reading! I’m following a syllabus for my ACE preparation, and I am now behind schedule, so I need to get working on that. I am also reading a book on AI in the classroom that I want to get back to, AND my dad sent me a book I want to read as well. I can kick my reading into high gear for sure once the school year is done!

Writing, reading, packing, cleaning — such a life!

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#AtoZChallenge — Joy

Posted on April 12, 2023 by renbog

My aunt Carol says that it must be hard for some people who always live in a pissed off world. How true. As someone who spent some time in a pretty pissed off world for a while, I can attest that it is indeed difficult and miserable. And it’s not just miserable for the person living in that pissed off world — it permeates into those around you to the point that others simply don’t enjoy being around you because you just radiate that hostility.

Instead, choose joy. Yes, CHOOSE.

Choosing joy in your life is going to benefit you greatly — physically, mentally, and emotionally. Joy is not exhausting or taxing. Joy doesn’t give you headaches or upset stomachs. Joy doesn’t leave you feeling like you just want to curl up in a ball or lash out at others or just complain, whine, and cry. Joy buoys you up and makes you feel all warm and fuzzy. Joy gives you energy. Joy allows you to see obstacles as challenges. Joy relieves pain.

How can you choose joy? Here are some ideas.

  • Keep a gratitude journal. Every day, think of 3 things you’re grateful for and write them down. Even if it’s something simple, like my coffee stayed hot all morning or I only hit 2 red lights on the way to work, by focusing on the things that were good for you that day, you start seeing the good more often than the bad.
  • Reframe your thoughts. When you feel yourself start to get negative, tell yourself NO! I am going to change the way I am thinking! For example, if you get on the scale and discover you’ve gained a few pounds that you don’t want, instead of saying how fat and ugly and awful you are, say that you’ll use this as an opportunity to try a new recipe you found.
  • Change your words. Sometimes, we get caught up in “I have to” but if we can change to “I get to” it makes a difference! Instead of, “I have to skip lunch with my friends because I have to do all this laundry,” try saying, “I get to get caught up on laundry so I can have my night free to sit in the patio and have a glass of wine.” See chores as opportunities and state them that way!
  • Make a conscious decision to see the world through rose-colored glasses. Even if for a short amount of time. Tell yourself, “For the next hour, I am going to look for the good and the positive in all the people I interact with and all the situations I am in.” So when you’re stuck in a really boring work meeting that could have been an email, you can start to think things like, “Well, this meeting is really unnecessary, but at least someone brought treats! Janice is usually so crabby all the time, but today, she’s actually got a smile on her face. Tom’s idea isn’t a great one, but at least he contributed to the meeting this time.” Looking for the good can really help when you’re in a lousy situation.
  • Find a stress reliever. If you get negative because of stress, create a list of things you can do to relieve the stress. Read a book, take a nap, go for a walk, brush your dog, listen to music, paint your nails, put on comfy clothes, say a prayer, watch a video that always makes you laugh, look through pictures on your phone.

Hopefully, this post gave you some inspiration to find and embrace joy in your life.

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#AtoZChallenge — International Travel

Posted on April 12, 2023 by renbog

I am a very, very fortunate woman. I have had the opportunity to travel quite a bit around this country, and I have also had the opportunity to travel internationally. In this post, I thought I would share some of the international destinations I have been to.

I’ve been to Canada a few times. Probably my favorite trip to Canada was in college when I attended Stratford Festival.

I’ve also been to Mexico a few times — basically just Cancun or Cozumel. I’ve been to a couple of resorts in Cancun, and Cozumel has been when I was in port while on a cruise.

I went to Jamaica on a trip I won. Loved it there! It was so beautiful, and the people were so friendly and welcoming!

I’ve been to Europe and visited Switzerland, Italy, France, and England. I also visited Monaco. In Switzerland, I spent a few days in Geneva, then rode through Italy in a bus to Monaco and the south of France, staying in Nice for a couple days. Then I rode a bus and train through Avignon and Nimes up to Paris. That trip was in high school — quite a memorable high school graduation present! I visited London just a few years ago when I was accepted into the Google for Education Innovator program, so I got to do the touristy things in London as well as spend time in both of Google’s London offices! I also met many people there that I can now call my friends.

Probably the most unique international locations I have been to are Mumbai, Delhi, and Agra, India, and Dubai, UAE. My dad lived and worked in Mumbai for a few years, and I was lucky enough to go visit him there twice. The first time, we took a trip away from Mumbai to Delhi and Agra to see the Taj Mahal. The second trip, we took a vacation for a few days to Dubai. I absolutely loved Mumbai in particular. I loved the bustle and the crowds of people — it felt alive 24 hours a day. People were very friendly. I loved the colors around me — from the beautiful clothing the women wore to the painting on the trucks, there seemed to be color everywhere I looked. I won’t deny, though, that the litter, pollution, and poverty I saw was upsetting, but overall, I truly loved my visits to India. I also found myself simply dazzled by Dubai. The word I use to describe it to people is “opulent” because that’s how it felt. Everything there seemed to glitter, and everyone around me seemed to be dripping with money.

On my international bucket list are places like Nepal (I really want to see Mt. Everest), Singapore (I would love to stay at the hotel that’s in the movie Crazy Rich Asians), and maybe even Australia, if I can avoid seeing the huge, freaky bugs they have there! A friend of mine just returned from Banff in Alberta, Canada, and after seeing her pictures, I think I might want to go there, too! I’m sure there are other places I would like to go as well that I’ve seen on Somebody Feed Phil, but they escape me at the moment.

I truly enjoy traveling, and I feel so fortunate to have been able to visit the places I have been to!

Swimming in the bioluminescent lagoon in Jamaica.
Tube stop at Heathrow in London.
On my hotel room balcony in Dubai.
On the hotel balcony in Cancun.
At Google’s office in London.
Outside Buckinghamn Palace for the changing of the guard with my husband.
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#AtoZChallenge — The Host

Posted on April 11, 2023 by renbog

The Host is a novel by Stephenie Meyer. Don’t stop reading. I know, you’re probably thinking that you’re not the least bit interested in reading a book written by the sparkly vampire author. But hear me out: The Host is nothing at all like any of the Twilight books. It’s a little bit romance, a little bit science fiction, a little bit fantasy, a little bit dystopia. The main storyline focuses on a love quadrangle unlike anything you’ve ever read before. It’s not overly science fiction-y, either. So to me, this novel could be considered appropriate for men, women, and teens. There’s noting too graphic in terms of violence or sex. It’s not too focused on romance, and it’s not too focused on the science fiction, either. Personally, I love impossible romances, and that was what initially appealed to me about this novel. I was so unsure how the book would end satisfactorily, so if you enjoy stories that will lead you down a path of curiosity, this would also be a good book for you! It’s also not an overly heavy read, so it makes a terrific summer novel! Happy reading!

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#AtoZChallenge — Genesis

Posted on April 9, 2023 by renbog

One of my favorite bands is Genesis. I have loved them since I was in 8th grade. My boyfriend back then was a bog Genesis fan, so of course, I decided to be as well, and as it turns out, I legit liked the band! Here are links to some of my favorite Genesis songs (in no particular order)if you want to take a listen:

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#AtoZChallenge — Fears

Posted on April 8, 2023 by renbog

Deep down, I am a big, ol’ fraidy cat. I am afraid of a lot of things. Here are some of my fears.

Spiders. Well, let me clarify. I really am afraid of anything with more than 4 legs, but spiders are the most terrifying. It doesn’t matter how big or small, I’m terrified of them all.

Tornadoes. I think this fear stems from my childhood in Nebraska. I had never heard of a tornado before I lived there, and the first house we lived in when I lived in Nebraska did not have a basement, so if we had to take shelter, we had to go to our neighbor’s house. May 6, 1975, there was a terrible tornado in Omaha, and I remember being outside going to the neighbor’s house and seeing the funnel cloud above us. What prompted my mom to hustle us over to the neighbor’s house was seeing the trees in the front of the house blowing in the opposite direction of the trees in the back of the house. I have never forgotten how scared I was outside, and to this day, almost 50 years later, I am still petrified of tornadoes. I start to get uneasy during any storm. I will do anything to avoid being home alone during a thunderstorm.

The supernatural, especially demonic possession. I don’t even like to think about anything supernatural or talk about it. When I was a teen, I watched the edited version of The Exorcist on television, and it scared the living hell out of me. And then I read the novel. I don’t know why I did that because all that did was solidify my absolute terror. If I wake up in the middle of the night and for whatever reason start thinking about this movie or book, I immediately start to pray the Our Father in hopes it will keep me safe.

Prison. I have no idea why I am so frightened by the thought of going to prison, but it scares me to my core. I will make sure I am extra careful about things like driving in the neighborhood because I don’t want to be speeding and hit a kid or a person and kill them and then end up going to prison for it.

Death. Maybe when I am older, I won’t be afraid of death. But right now, I am scared of dying. I have too much in my life to live for and so many people I love, I just can’t stand the thought of not being here with them, and honestly, it break my heart to think of any of them possibly hurting because I am gone. So I will do everything I can to make sure I stay alive for a good, long time!

Maybe my fears are irrational, but they’re fears I have. Some, I have had to face and will likely still face (like spiders). Some, I hope I never have to face, like tornadoes, the supernatural, or prison. Death, I know I will have to face one day. All I can do is hope I’m ready when it happens.

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