It has been a dream of mine for as long as I can remember to write a novel. I actually started one in April 2014, and have worked on it on and off since then, but the problem I have had with it is that I am not sure where to go with it. The idea kind of came to me ala Stephenie Meyer — I had a dream. When I woke up, I immediately started making some notes and trying to flesh out the story and the characters. The title came to me in my dream, Living Without Dying. I worked on it like gangbusters, and then came to a screeching halt. And now, it’s been so long, that I worry that one of the key elements in my story. virtual reality, may be out of date. I’ve got 117 pages completed, but I am still not sure how I want it to end, and without that, I don’t have a direction to go.

Here is a synopsis I wrote of the story: (genre: women’s fiction): Some people find comfort in the familiar, in routine. Not Lianne. Despite having a wonderful marriage to a devoted husband, a daughter with a promising life ahead of her once she graduates college, a steady job, and terrific friends, Lianne yearns for more. The comfort, the familiarity is suffocating her. As she looks for ways to shake up her life, she finds herself seeking out more and more extreme experiences. Her husband Mark tries to be supportive through it all, but Lianne’s dissatisfaction with the life they have is baffling to him and it becomes harder and harder to be the supportive husband. Mark and Lianne need to find their way back to each other, but it is possible that they will be lost forever if they can’t find some way to continue living life together instead of separately at the same time.

I am also willing to share the first 4 pages. In those pages, I am trying to establish the feelings and the voices of the main characters, Lianne and Mark. Initially, I had written everything from Lianne’s point of view, but I received some feedback that told me it felt incomplete, so I added Mark’s as well. I was also told that there wasn’t a lot of sympathy for Lianne from the person who read my initial draft, so as I have come back to work on this, I have tried to make Lianne relatable, and maybe sympathetic. I want women to read Lianne’s story and get her. They may not feel sympathy for her, but I want them to at least be able to say, “I know what she means. I know what she’s talking about. I’ve been through this, too.” And then have them measure their own decisions against Lianne’s. That’s why sympathy isn’t as important to me as understanding the character — in fact, I think Lianne’s decisions aren’t super responsible, and that’s okay because that’s what I was going for.

Anyway, I hope someday to find the time and patience with myself and my process to finish this novel. It may suck, but I don’t care. I almost always write for me as opposed to other people, so that is probably the wrong attitude to have if I want to be a novelist. But writing for me has always been my creative and emotional outlet, so I guess it’s more important to me to finish my novel for me than anyone else out there.