I am going to share a whiny post, and I am sure plenty of people will think I am being whiny prematurely, but that won’t prevent me from writing this.

I have lost about 80 pounds since starting my weight loss surgery journey, and I feel fantastic. I am absolutely in the best shape of my life. I am eating (mostly) healthy foods, not really overeating, exercising regularly, moving more in general, and just feeling really, really good overall. So I decided to try running again. I still do have the neuropathy in both feet, resulting in foot drop in both feet. I have a special brace I wear on my left foot to mitigate the foot drop because it is worse in that foot; the right foot isn’t anywhere near as bad. I ran Saturday morning, and I ran this morning. Both runs were pretty much the same: about 30 minutes, and a distance of 1.62 miles and 1.66 miles. During both runs, my heart rate was elevated, but not a lot. Both my legs feel like they weigh about 1000 pounds each, and I just can’t seem to lengthen my stride or move my legs faster. I try, but then I find myself getting a bit unstable and I REALLY don’t want to fall! I also am a bit “clop clop clop” when I run, which I suppose is good, considering when I ran years before, I was a bit of a heel striker. But this morning, I was really discouraged. I want to be able to run. I love running. I know my pace is slow partially because I am doing run/walk intervals, but in all honesty, there’s not a huge difference in my pace between running and walking. I just can’t seem to get the lower half of my body to move better or faster. Most of the time, I coexist just fine with this body of mine and its limitations, but every now and then, I still get sad about it and have a, “Why me?” moment. This morning was one of those moments.