I read, okay devoured, the Fifty Shades of Grey books when they came out. I loved them. I enjoyed reading them. They were fun to talk about with others who had read them. I loved the Twilight books so it wasn’t much of a leap to love the Fifty Shades books since they started out as Twilight fan fic. The books actually “inspired” a great family story/drama. My daughter, who was 18 and on her way to college, decided to read the first book. She’s not a big reader (much to my chagrin) but if she wanted to read this book, why would I care? I had a member of my extended family jump all over me about it, saying I was a bad mother for letting her read the book. My response was my daughter is 18 and out of high school and on her way to college; she is old enough to look at porn; she is old enough to make her own porn; why the hell would I stop her from reading this book, which has been billed over and over again as “mommy porn”? KMA.

Since that time, I have heard all sorts of crap from people about the books and now that the movie is out, the whole stupid pot is stirred again. So, for what it’s worth (not much at all), here are my thoughts on the whole Fifty Shades brouhaha:

• Are the books bad writing? Who cares. I giggle at the people who pooh-pooh the books because the writing is bad. Why does every book a person reads have to be “good writing”?
• Is it wussy porn? I guess so. I’m not a porn connoisseur. I don’t care. Isn’t porn a matter of personal taste, anyway? Some people like it, some people don’t. If you don’t like porn, don’t read the books or see the movie. If you like porn and it’s not your type, don’t read the books or see the movie. Seems pretty simple.
• Abusive relationship, blah blah blah. Whatever happens between CONSENTING ADULTS IN THEIR BEDROOM really isn’t any of my business or yours. If Christian and Ana (or you or me or anyone else) likes the kind of sex that happens between them, why do you care? If it’s not happening to you, you shouldn’t have an opinion. And while we are on that topic……
• I don’t care if the BDSM community thinks the books or movie is an affront to their lifestyle (if that’s what they call it, I’m not sure). The book was never meant to be a primer on BDSM. It’s not a reference book. It’s a work of fiction. Fiction is only based in reality. It doesn’t have to be actually real or factually accurate all the time. Fiction. get it? Please stop trying to enlighten me on the “real BDSM”.
• Christian Grey is not some ideal man that all women are dreaming to find. He’s far from ideal. All the daddies out there worried that their baby girls are looking for Christian Grey can stop with the “letters to their daughters” about how their future husbands will be better men than Christian. BTW, Christian is a fictional character, so he doesn’t really exist. If your daughter is out looking for Christian, you’ve got a bigger issue to deal with.
• I am not sinful or immoral because I read the books and saw the movie. My marriage is not in the early stages of decay because my husband watched the movie, too. If a married couple is going to see their marriage come undone because of some books and a movie that has sex in it, that marriage has bigger problems, too. I implore everyone once again to please stay out of my bedroom and the bedrooms of others. Please do not feel the need to save my soul from eternal damnation. Believe me, if I am destined for hell, that fate was sealed long before Fifty Shades came into my life.
• I don’t care if you don’t want to read the books or see the movie. What I do care about is the people who get on their high horses and look down on me because I read the books and saw the movie. I know that not everyone likes this kind of book or film — I’m not judging you if it’s not in your wheel house. But I do get pissy when you act holier than thou because you didn’t deign to touch the story while I clearly slummed my way through it. (Cue Ana’s subconscious looking at me disapprovingly over her readers.)

I’d like to get back to discussing the books and movie with my friends who are fellow fans. I’d also like to get back to not discussing the books and movie with people who are not fans. Not once have I said someone is stupid, awful, immoral, or wrong for not having an interest in the books or movie. I wish people would stop saying that about me.