I hope I’m not committing some faux pas by saying my husband had a vasectomy a number of years ago. It took some coaxing but he did it. And if HE can get one, ANY man can get one — love you, babe 🙂

I don’t understand the resistance men have to vasectomies. If it’s time, just do it. Is is fear of pain? They do them without needles and scalpels now (that’s how my husband’s was done). It’s not necessary to sit around with a bag of frozen peas under your balls anymore. You even get valium before the procedure!

Is it some homophobic thing, you don’t want a man handling your balls? Get over it. The doctor has seen balls before; trust me, yours aren’t half as enticing as you think they are.

Are you afraid of having a woman doctor? I can’t even fathom this fear. Not even worth discussing. Is it a sexist thing? Is it a woman touching you thing? Forget it. I can’t even wrap my head around it.

Is it because you think it’s humiliating to go through the procedure? Do NOT even say that. Three things:

1. Paper nightgown. Feet. Stirrups. Speculum.
2. Contracting uterus. Baby. Push and poop. Episiotomy.
3. Boobs. Metal plates. Smash.

Do not speak of how humiliating it would be to have a vasectomy. Women have you so so beat.

Is it so you can keep your options open? Gimme a break. Like your wife is going to leave you a widower at age 74 and you’re going to find some hot 24 year old who wants to have your baby. If you really do want to keep your options open, go make some deposits at a sperm bank.

Religious reasons? Not even going there because I cannot be polite.

Is it just laziness or because you just don’t want to? Well, has it occurred to you that maybe your wife

1. Doesn’t want to take birth control anymore — there are risks and side effects, you know.
2. Doesn’t like condoms either.
3. Doesn’t want to use natural family planning (because you know what they call people who use natural family planning….)
4. Doesn’t want to have a much-more-complicated-and-invasive-than-a-vasectomy surgical procedure.
5. Couldn’t get one of those surgical procedures from her doctor even if she wanted one. They tend not to be elective if you’re speaking of a hysterectomy in any form.

Come on, men. If your wife has been nagging you for a vasectomy, man up! It will be just fine.