It’s hard to look at pictures of the destruction caused by Hurricane Helene and not feel devastated for the people who have lost their homes, belongings, and maybe even loved ones. There are always stories in the wake of a disaster such as this about people needing to be rescued from their homes, and those stories cause relief and ire in many people — relief that someone was able to be rescued, and ire at knowing someone else had to risk their life to rescue someone else who likely didn’t bother to evacuate.

Listen, I get it. First responders put their lives on the line for other people all the time — it’s their job, after all. But it’s natural to feel angry and frustrated that they are taking a risk when people should have evacuated. But before you get carried away with your anger, stop and play a little game for a moment in your own mind to maybe stir up a little empathy and understanding.

Let’s say you have been notified that you need to leave your home in a short amount of time, and you’re simply not sure if you’ll have a home to come back to eventually, or how long it may take for you to be able to return home. What do you need to do? Let me ask you some questions.

How many clothes do you need to pack? Do you need to pack for yourself or do you have a family to pack for? Do you have enough suitcases or something else to pack clothes in?

Do you have toiletries to bring with you for you and your family?

Do you have any cash? Do you have a credit card?

Do you have food you want to bring with you? Does anyone in your family have special dietary needs (my cousin has a daughter with a severe corn allergy — she MUST have special food)?

Is there a baby in your family? Do you have enough food and diapers for the baby?

Does anyone need medications? How much do you have? Do any need to be refilled? What about over-the-counter medication? Do you need to bring any of that with you?

Are there any papers, documents, or memorabilia you want to bring with you in case something happens to your home? Do your kids need any toys or books? Do you need to bring computers, phones, tablets, and chargers?

Do you have pets? Do you have food for them? What about bottled water? And dishes for the food and water? Do your pets need medication? Do you have leashes and collars or harnesses for them or crates?

Do you have a car? Will all the things you need to bring with you AND the people AND the pets all fit in your car? if you have more than one, are you bringing all your vehicles? How much gas is in them right now? Are you going to need to go out and get gas? How long might that take you if everyone in your area is also making the same preparations?

If there is anything you don’t have, are you going to have time to go out and get it? Things like food, water, medication, prescriptions? Are you sure you’ll be able to get them, especially if everyone else in your area is also doing the same thing?

Where are you going to go? Are you flying or driving somewhere? How far do you have to go? Will you have enough gas to get there? Are you sure you can get out on a plane, and with all your stuff? Can you afford it? If you’re driving, do you know someone who can take you in? Do you have to stay at a hotel? Did you call to make a reservation? You might have to drive very far to find a hotel with availability if everyone else in your area is also trying to get a hotel. Can you all fit in one room? If you have pets, will the hotel accept pets? Can you afford to stay at a hotel? Do you have a credit card with a high enough limit for you to afford staying at a hotel?

When are you leaving? If you leave when everyone else leaves, will you get stuck in traffic jams? If so, are your cars filled with enough gas so that you don’t run out while stuck?

Are you overwhelmed just thinking about this? Heck, I’m sure I have forgotten things — mostly because have never had to evacuate my home. My dad and his wife live in Houston and on more than one occasion, they have needed to evacuate because of a hurricane, and at least once that I know of, they ended up having to turn around and come home because the traffic was at a standstill out of town AND they could not find a hotel (I know because I was helping to call hotels and none had any availability). Rather than be stranded on the road without shelter, they went home. They were fortunate to have a nice, sturdy brick home and a closet to shelter in. But what if they didn’t have a sturdy brick home? What if they lived in an apartment building or in a mobile home? That has credit cards to be able to buy food, gas, and pat for a hotel, but what if they didn’t have credit cards? They had small dogs, but what if they had big dogs? They didn’t have any children but what if they did?

Evacuating sounds like a simple concept, but its execution is absolutely not simple! It requires money and time and advanced preparation in a short amount of time. It is a high stress situation. Some people simply don’t have the time, money. and/or physical capability to evacuate.

So if you find yourself tempted to put on your judgy pants and criticize people for not evacuating, stop for a moment and consider that it takes a lot of hard work and privilege and opportunity to be able to evacuate and probably a healthy dose of good luck, too. While you’re feeling gratitude for the first responders who come to rescue people, try to have a little empathy, sympathy, and compassion, too.