I just discovered that WordPress will give me a daily prompt — how awesome for me but maybe not for any of you who might get sick of my blogging 🙂
Today’s prompt is, “Are you holding a grudge? About?”
Well, yes, yes, I am. And I am not comfortable giving too much detail because, frankly, it involves family, and it’s a grudge that isn’t entirely my story to tell. And my grudge is also linked to the greatest regret in my life.
Someone I love dearly in my family, more than my life itself, was hurt deeply physically and emotionally by another member of my family many years ago. When I attempted to address the issue, I was told it simply didn’t happen — even though this had been witnessed by my husband’s own eyes. So to this day, I hold a pretty serious and vicious grudge against the people involved in this situation who simply said, ‘It didn’t happen.”
Side note — my greatest regret in life is that I didn’t pursue action further — at the request of yet another family member, someone I love deeply. As I look back on this event, I think how fortunate for the people in this situation that this happened all those years ago when I was young and cared far too much what people, especially family members, thought of me. Had this happened now, things would go nuclear because I have learned that blood doesn’t actually mean crap — family is bonds, not blood.
I know that holding grudges isn’t healthy. What’s the saying, something like, “Holding a grudge doesn’t hurt the person the grudge is held against, it hurts the person holding it”? Maybe that’s true. Also, if you’re a religious type, holding grudges isn’t a great way to get into heaven. So maybe my holding this grudge for something I deem totally unforgivable is unhealthy, but I simply don’t care. It is something I feel is a grudge worth holding. It doesn’t consume me. I don’t think about it every day. But it’s there. And I cannot think of a single thing that could make it go away.
The View from the Cheap Seats 